Apology for 'hurt and pain' at private school

Globe and Mail, Toronto
September 1, 2007


By Michael Valpy

Former Grenville staffer goes public


Ontario's Grenville Christian College, which has closed amid allegations of cult practices, was an emotionally, spiritually and sometimes physically abusive place that caused "hurt and pain" to staff and students, a former senior administrator of the elite private school acknowledged yesterday.

Joan Childs, who worked at the school for more than 30 years, posted a public apology on an Internet message board that former students have been using for more than a year to talk about what they experienced and suffered.

"What was done to people at GCC was very wrong," Ms. Childs wrote. "I was very wrong. And I am so sorry for all the hurt that was caused to each of you by me and by all of us in positions of leadership."

Former students have described a bizarre environment where they were hauled from their beds in the middle of the night to be harangued for hours by staff at so-called light sessions about being sinners.

They have said they were constantly humiliated by staff, and put on "discipline" for months at a time where they were prohibited from attending class or speaking to anyone.

They also have mentioned occasional physical and sexual assaults, and spoken of living in fear and psychological isolation at the school.

Grenville Christian College, which charged up to $35,000 a year for boarders and $17,000 for day students, announced at the end of July that it would not open for the 2007-08 academic year, citing declining enrolment and rising operating costs.

The school had close links until 1997 with the Community of Jesus in Massachusetts, a titular Anglican charismatic group at one time labelled a cult in the U.S. news media.

Subsequently, a new religious group was created at the school called the Community of the Good Shepherd, of which Ms. Childs, whose husband John was a teacher at the school, became leader in 2000.

In an interview, she said she broke away from the school's past actions after God opened her eyes to the wrongs done, and she was helped by a pastor, Kevin Smith, whom she hired to teach at Grenville.

"Originally, we were a very, very sincere group of people who wanted to do God's work. We always remained sincere, wanting to do God's work, but along the line ... we blindly - and I find it embarrassing to say - we blindly got off the track.

"We started off just being too legalistic [in biblical interpretation], but we went way past that to being - and I'm going to have to use the word - emotionally and spiritually and sometimes physically abusive."

She said she tried to show the community where it had gone wrong and she hoped eventually to raise money to provide therapy - she called it restitution - for students and children of staff who had suffered emotional damage, but the community became fractured and dysfunctional, and she and Rev. Smith eventually left the school.

One former student who speaks of having lived in fear and pain at Grenville is Ms. Childs's daughter, Mel Childs McDaniel, 30, now married and living in Philadelphia.

"I've told my husband a number of times I wish there were marks on me because physical abuse is so much more tangible and visible than emotional abuse," she said yesterday.

The school was almost literally two communities, with one group - overseas students and the sons and daughters of wealthy Ontario families - not knowing what was happening to the other group - children with behaviour problems basically dumped at the school by parents who wanted them "fixed" and the children of staff, almost all of whom belonged to the Community of Jesus.

The staff children were treated the most harshly.

Ms. McDaniel said they were removed from their parents without notice and assigned to live with other staff, whom they had to call aunt and uncle - but only when other students were not around - and who could punish them at will.

"At any moment of any day, you could be just swept off your feet, put on discipline, you had to move somewhere [into another family grouping], you couldn't talk to anyone. It was fear. You lived and breathed fear."

At light sessions, she said the staff children were forced to taunt and harangue other staff children for their sins or become targets themselves. They formed no close friendships for fear their friends would denounce them to the school authorities.

"There were a few staff kids who were truly braver souls than me, and fought harder, but the consequences were so severe that they scared the shit out of us. We could just be shipped off to the Community of Jesus [in Massachusetts] at any moment.

"None of it made sense. You couldn't figure it out. But I believed all of it. I believed I was going to hell. I believed everything. As much as we were unhappy, that's all we knew."

Ms. McDaniel said she would not defend or speak on behalf of her mother, but she did stress that her mother had come to understand the psychological hold over staff members that the school authorities and the Community of Jesus exercised.

Ms. Childs, with a sad and remorseful catch in her voice, recalled the words of a hymn she used to sing when she belonged to the Community of Jesus:

"You are wrong, you are wrong,

"No matter what you say or do,

"You'll always be wrong."

Statement of regret

My name is Joan Childs. For those who do not know me, I was on the administration at GCC for many years. I took part in causing so much of the hurt and pain that so many experienced while they were staff, staff kids, and students at GCC. What was done to people at GCC was very wrong. I was very wrong. And I am so sorry for all the hurt that was caused to each of you by me and by all of us in positions of leadership. I pray for God's healing for each and every person who was wounded while at GCC.

A statement of regret posted on an Internet site by Ms. Childs

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20070901.GRENVILLE01/TPStory/?query=Grenville+Christian+College